8th February 2020.
I know I have an amazing bunch of friends, but it’s something else when they all get together to do something that just celebrates you.
The whole idea that people would travel across the country, make time in their busy schedules, plus spend time choosing beautiful gifts and writing heartfelt words just for me is a little overwhelming. But that’s exactly what happened last weekend, as I was thrown two surprise baby showers by work colleagues and friends.
It made me reflect even more on the type of people they are, as I know I haven’t been the most available friend to them all over the last 12 months. The truth is, I found myself treading water for most of last year, just about managing to keep up with the many things I was juggling without my mental health spiralling further. Something had to give, and unfortunately, it was my social life.
Although the pregnancy fatigue and hormones certainly didn’t help the situation, I know I should have made more time for phone calls and messages to remind them I was thinking about them more often. It just felt like I had nothing left to give. Like I’d used all of my bandwidth each day. This is something I will definitely be changing this year. Being off with the baby will certainly allow me to do that.
I’m looking forward to a fresh start and redesigning what my life looks like on a daily and weekly basis. My priorities have shifted; my hand forced to move away from the people-pleasing old beliefs that my worth was measured by my work output.
So, to my friends, I want to say thank you for always being there and for helping me come back to myself. I love you all and feel extremely grateful to know that you have my back and best interests at heart.